Summer Fried Rice - Make it yourself!

I've been on a big corn kick recently (corn salad recipe coming soon!), and I also have a bag of rice I'm trying to use up. Earlier this week, Tuesday night actually, I made some rice in hopes of then making fried rice with the left-over aforementioned corn salad. BUT even though I wasn't too lazy to make rice, I was then too lazy to make anything else out of it so it's been sitting in my fridge all week. Mix this with my love for using up everything in my fridge (code for, not having any food) and enter: SUMMER FRIED RICE.

Ingredients:
This is variable based on what you have around but I will say that this turned out absolutely delicious, so maybe trust me on this one.

 olive oil
some rice you already cooked, or some rice you cook and then let cool off - about a cup and a half
about 1/4 cup onion, roughly choped
1/2 cup canned pineapple, diced
1/2 of a jalapeno, de seeded and cut into rings
1 clove of garlic, chopped
lime juice
2 cobs of corn, pre cooked, the kernels cut off (ends up being around a cup)
1/2 cup diced red bell pepper
pickled ginger, cut up
KIMCHI (because it makes everything taste a little bit weird, but in an awesome way)


Step 1: Heat olive oil in big frying pan (or a wok if you have one/are fancy) add the onion and cook for a few minutes, then add the garlic and jalapenos. Stir those babies around for about 4 minutes then add the kimchi and pickled ginger.

Step 2: Add a the corn and anything else veggie wise you want to throw in there (peas could be good).
Step 3: Add another tbs of oil and put in the rice, fry it on high heat for about three minutes then turn the heat down to medium and add the pineapple and lime juice. Stir until the rice is heated through.

One of my secrets is that I rarely enjoy the food I make. I think it is something about having to stare at it for so long while you're making it. BUT THIS IS DELICIOUS. I'm eating some right now.

Cream Cheese Brownies

Mark Bittman lured me in with the promise "the richest, densest, most luxurious brownies I know - sort of like very heavy chocolate cheesecake." Well... I guess. I'm not going to type out this recipe exactly as given because it was sort of ridiculous, three separate bowls etc etc etc BUT I will give you an approximation, in case you want a pile of your own. What came out sort of looked like throw-up, took on the form of a pile and tasted pretty good (only while warm - Kate sez: "If you  had the dedication to eat the whole thing right after it came out of the oven, that would probably be the best way to do it"). Not a failure, not quite a "success", but definitely chocolate.

Hey is that a chicken gyro in your (pita) pocket or are you just happy to see me?

This meal comes to you courtesy of the subscription my mother gave me to "Real Simple" magazine for Christmas this year. I think she is simultaneously trying to A. be nice, B. encourage my neurotic tendencies and, C. keep me from having a normal social life.
So, a meal in two parts:
Part 1: Making your own tzatziki sauce (also known as "Our Mush, Ourselves).
Part 2: Making gyro style chicken.
You'll need: Tzatziki ingredients (listed below), chicken, spices, some oil, an onion, pita and feta!

Follow the leis!

Risotto!

I've had a couple of really disappointing rice cooking experiences recently. For some reason, I decided it would be a good idea to try an even more temperamental grain: Risotto (technically arborio rice). Kate and I made some Vegetable Risotto and it came out great! Full disclosure, this requires a decent amount of stirring and need to be watched full time (like a baby), but if you have someone to help and keep you company it's a delicious dish that makes for great leftovers!

Make it yourself: Quiche

How to cook like my mom's mom - Grandma's Quiche Recipe.
This is really, really easy. It's also a great way to use up bits and pieces you have in your fridge. You can also make two and freeze one. My favorite!

Audience Participation: What Would You DO?

Every week John Quinones asks the hard questions on "Primetime: What Would You Do?" Well get ready for a tough one, because I'm playing hardball. YOU'RE IN THE HOT SEAT: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I'm not really sure.

Are you there God? It's Lemon Bars

This are pretty easy! And they're tasty.
Recipe courtesy of my dear old friend Mark Bittman (it's okay buddy, I know the divorce has been really hard on you. Hang in there)

And now, for your reading pleasure, a recipe for lemon squares, with notes from yours truly.

Recipe: Baked Pasta with Sausage and Peppers, courtesy of Ma Dukes

This is the best. It makes a ton of food, great leftovers, doesn't take a lot of time and turkey sausage!

From a box! Make it yourself!

I love sausage in a very appropriate and healthy way. I made the mistake of going to the grocery store hungry, tired, and downtrodden which lead to some great purchases like... paper towels, milk, cocoa krispies and... Sausage! This recipe uses ALL OF THESE ITEMS.

RECIPE: FRENCH CRIES FRIES

Want to wait a really long time for something to bake in the oven? Yes? Okay, great.
This is a recipe for some really spicy french fries seasoned with my own special blend of spices:

Cooking With FRIENDS!

Cooking is something that I really enjoy, more and more and more and more. It can also be a really great thing to do with friends. You get to spend some (forced) quality time with them and everyone is rewarded (bribed) with a great meal!
Disclaimer: I only hang out with people who are wearing the same colored sweater as I am.

Self timer makes everyone look great!

Special Guest Stars: Ben C. and Kate S. yeah yeah yeahhhh.

"Pecan" Passion

The aunt of a friend of mine makes delicious cookies every year for christmas. She was nice enough to share with me both cookies and the recipe for these which are basically chocolate with nuts and caramel... ask Eli, I seriously couldn't get enough of these cookies and couldn't have been more excited to try my hand and making them once I was back in Philly.

So... "Pecan Passion" by way of Pam Wright, originally from: Maida Heatter's Brand-New Book of Great Cookies

Toasting the "Pecans" (I used walnuts, so sue me, they were a lot cheaper at the shoprite)

"First, toast the pecans for the top layer. Place them in a shallow pan in a 350-degree oven for about 10 minutes, siring once or twice, until they have a strong smell of toasted pecans when you open the oven door. Set them aside."  

mmm... nothing like the smell of toasting nuts "when you open the oven door"

 Making the bottom layer:

•   3 oz unsalted butter 
• 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 
• 1/8 tsp. salt 
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla 
• 1 egg 
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 
• 1/4 cup flour

 

Sean loves to help!

Preheat the oven to 375, line the "9x9" (or 11 x 7 in this case) pan with tin foil, and grease it...mmmm pam

Melt the 3/4 stick of butter and add the sugar, salt, vanilla and egg. Mix it up!

  Use your pretend electric mixer, it makes it a lot easier.

Beat in the cocoa and flour...

 Maida sez: "Place this thick chocolate mixture in a ribbon or in several mounds all over the bottom of the lined pan. With the bottom of a metal sppon, spread the mixture in an even layer. It will be a thin layer. It will level itself while baking. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the shallow cake springs back when gently pressed with a fingertip.Remove the pan from the oven and let stand."

 

Look ma, two hands!

Put that baby in the oven, and get ready for the stressful part....

PECAN TOPPING

• 1 Tablespoon dark rum or cognac 
• 1/3 cup heavy cream 
• 3 oz unsalted butter 
• 1 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 
• scant 1/4 tsp salt 
• 1/4 dark corn syrup 
• 7oz (2 cups) toasted pecan halves

"Add the rum or cognac to the cream, set aside."  - I was ready to stop here, this was probably the best thing I've ever smelled.... boot leg egg nog anyone?

 

Melt the butter in a saucepan. Stir in the sugar, salt, and corn syrup. Stir this until it begins to "BOIL ALL OVER THE SURFACE"

Get ready, because this is where things start to get dicey:

"Place a sugar thermometer in the pan and cook, stiring occassionally, until the temperature reaches 250 degrees (this takes about two minutes of boiling). Watch it carefully - do not let it cook even a bit too long." 

Luckily Sean was there to hold the candy thermometer. We did our own New-Years style count up, 175, 200, 225, 250! Take it off the heat OR ELSE!

 "Remove from the heat and quickly stir in the cream mixture and then the pecans. Immediately pour the hot mixture over the bottom layer. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes. Time this very carefully. If yu bake it the least bit too long, it will become hard."

At this point, I started having a really hard time judging whether Maida was just trying to be helpful or if she was undermining me....all is well that ends well however...SIKE

25 minutes later:

 

WOW LOOK HOW GOOD THIS LOOKS!!!!!!!!!!

MMMMMM!!!!!!!

PECAN PASSION!!!!!!!

Oh wait! It didn't work out. At all....

 Bye bye!!

After all that, I was left with a very pleasant caramel and nut combo on top of an impenetrable crust of burnt chocolate. Bummer! I scraped off as much of the top as I could and was left with this....

I'm not sure if my oven was too hot, if I cooked it for too long, made too many substitutions or if my immortal corn syrup is to blame....

I can't wait to eat this in 20130 after the apocalypse.

Anyway, I was pretty disappointed because these should have been SO FUCKING GOOD. But, Sean was nice enough to point out the top part came out alright, so I think up next will be caramels... maybe with sea salt. mmmmmmm! 

p.s. if anyone wants a coherent version of this recipe to try their hand at email me: kaydetto at gmail dot com